tips & advice
Ask the Expert
Photo by Sharyn Peavey and Emilie Inc.Are you stressed about finding the perfect wedding gown? Wondering how to keep your guest list under 100 people? Do you know what questions to ask your caterer? Leslie Barbini, owner of The Wedding Belle, wedding and event consultants, is excited to answer your wedding planning questions. Please send us your question to kristina@nhweddingmagazine.com, and we will pick one question a week to answer. The question and answer will be posted on our Facebook site.
Dear Leslie,
What is etiquette for paying for my brides maid's hair and makeup the day of
the wedding? Is the bride supposed to pay, or does each bridesmaid pay for
their own?
Dear Beautiful Bride,
Either! The decision is up to you. However there is a catch...
If you want all of your bridesmaids hair and make-up done, for whatever
reasons, and you INSIST they must get it done, then you must pay for those
services. Simple common courtesy. You can absolutely make this a portion
of their bridal party gift from you and work it into your budget that way.
We work this expense into every bridal budget because making sure everyone
looks picture perfect is something that will be lasting in your photo album
for years to come! Remember, these are friends first and they need to
remain friends after the wedding, so a little pampering can go along way for
a girls spirit!
However, if you can't afford to put this into your budget or you simply do
not want to pay for everyone, then you need to make it OPTIONAL for them,
not a requirement. The bridal party ends up paying for multiple expenses
towards a brides wedding day, that is to be expected, but beyond their
wedding day attire, they should not be forced into another expense. Giving
them the option is wonderful because they will feel pampered instead of
pressured. You have to be perfectly ok with their decision to skip this
additional expense if that is what they choose to do, even if they are the
only one out of six. Most will opt for the services and be happy to chip in
towards it.
So make the decision that is right for your budget and your friendships!
Happy Planning,
Leslie
Dear Leslie,
If we have a band at our reception, will they make the announcements like introducing the bridal party and the cake cutting, or will I have to hire a separate MC?
Dear Master of Ceremonies,
This entirely depends on the Band. In general, MOST bands will also handle the MC’ing for the nights event. You will need to go over with them the timing, names involved and the style on how you would like to be introduced. Some couples like to make a big show of this, others like to quietly be seated! It is your night and completely up to you.
If you discuss this with your band leader and they are willing to do it BUT are don’t seem completely comfortable with the idea, you can offer to provide them with a script to read. This takes the pressure off of them, you know exactly what will be said and all parties involved will feel more comfortable.
If your band is not willing to play MC as well for you. I would recommend asking a friend or a family member that is funny, entertaining and comfortable with public speaking. They will be honored that you are asking them to play such a vital role and you will save money in not having to hire another vendor. Work with the family member just as you would any vendor to allow for everyone to feel comfortable with the situation. Just keep in mind you need to pick someone that will behave responsibly at the cocktail hour and not fall behind on his/her duties later in the night. Pick someone responsible and that you can trust who will understand the importance of this role and treat it as such.
Happy Planning!
Leslie
Dear Leslie,
I am renting an outdoor space in Maine for my wedding. To save money we would like to purchase all the alcohol for the event. We would like to hire a friend to "bartend" during the cocktail hour and dinner, and then have "self-serve" wine and beer for the post-dinner festivities. I have no idea what kind of license and liability insurance this would require. Can you help? Would this be problematic if we work with a caterer but opt not to use them for bartending? Thank you for your help!
Sincerely,
Lindsay
Dear Budget Conscience Bar,
Purchasing your own alcohol is a wonderful way to save money without effecting your guests experience at the wedding at all! So bravo on finding an excellent way to save money!! Also, the fact that you are asking about insurance coverage means that you understand the importance of this decision! Let’s breakdown the rest of your question into two parts.
First, you want your friend to bartend with insurance. I can completely understand how at first this may seem like a fantastic idea and a money saver. Based on my experience, it is just the opposite. The cost of getting the correct insurance coverage added onto your homeowners/rental insurance can be very costly and some companies are no longer offering this as an option to an unlicensed “bartender”. You need to get a minimum of a million dollar policy to cover yourself for the day. The risk is simple – over serving your guests and serving minors. These are serious “crimes” that can have fatal results. We don’t want your wedding day ruined forever by a horrible tragedy just to save $200. The least expensive option is going to be with your caterer if they carry the right insurance already. They are already scheduled to be on-site and will only have to bring 1-2 extra staff members. However, not all caterers are licensed to serve alcohol and you need to know if yours is. If they are not, your most cost effective option is to hire a bartending service. They do exist!!! They are literally a group of bartenders that are housed under one company which comes fully licensed to cover your insurance needs (not to mention coolers, bar tools, and other handy extras). They spend their weekends and nights, traveling from event to event and serving your guests in a very professional way. This is wonderful because they know how to organize a bar, they know how to keep the line moving, they know how to mix a fantastic drink and maybe most importantly…they set up & clean up the bar for you! Let’s face it, on the day of the wedding who wants to be sitting around cutting up little lemon & lime garnish? Furthermore, I don’t know one guest that wants to help at the end of the night carry heavy boxes of unopened liquor or trash bags full of empty beer bottles back to the garage or dumpster!
Second, will the caterer be upset? It comes down to the simple fact of professional behavior! If you have hired a professional caterer, they will work with all of your vendors, regardless. They will not pressure you into a decision that you are not comfortable with and they will understand if you choose to go with someone else for a service they could provide. You want ALL of your vendors working as a unified team on your wedding day to keep everything flowing smoothly! If you sense any type of attitude or push back to a decision you are making prior to the wedding, stop and really think about if you want them to be your vendor. This is NOT to say you shouldn’t listen to their advice, they are in the business and their opinions hold a lot of experience behind them. But there is no room for attitude! Sometimes it is better to cut your losses prior to the wedding day to ensure your fantastic experience between all of your vendors. The best way to not stress, the best way to relax and enjoy your planning and wedding day…be confident in your vendors that you hand select and create a “dream team” all for you and your groom!
In the end, safety and your liability are the most important factors to consider before making your decision. Save yourself time, stress and in the end money by hiring a professional! You will be so thankful you did.
Happy Planning!
Leslie
Dear Leslie,
I am considering a site for my wedding that is a historically preserved landmark. I want to add my wedding colors to the space but I cannot puncture or leave anything on the walls and I have heard fabric draping is expensive anyway... Are there any thrifty ways to bring more of my colors into the room? Which fabrics would be best?
Historic Bride
Dear Historic Bride,
Historical landmarks are wonderful places to hold your event, especially if many of the guests are from out of town. It not only allows them to enjoy your wedding but to also learn about the history of the area they are visiting. In most situations, people use fabric and other coverings on walls when they are trying to hide the walls, not necessarily to bring in their wedding colors. My initial reaction is that if you have unsightly walls but love everything else about the location, then you bring in fabric. If you feel that you are settling and have to bring in fabric to make the space what you are looking for, you might want to reconsider finding a new reception space. Still, if you simply want to bring in your colors there are other ways of doing so while allowing the beauty of your historic location to shine through. The trick to creating a beautiful wedding reception is to enhance the room that you are in! Remember your wedding location should be one of beauty but also something that speaks to your personality as a couple!
If you can not attach anything to the walls and want to cover them in fabric you need to contact your local rental company and ask them if they carry something called “Pipe and Drape”. Basically it is a free standing wall of fabric. You will need to measure the length of pipe needed; not that most draping is about 8 feet tall. In most locations, this will not cover the entire wall to the ceiling but will be above everyone’s head at the wedding. When you walk into a room that has been draped, all eyes remain on the fabric and very rarely does anyone look up! Most companies can provide you with either black or white draping. Do you want to take the walls to the next level and bring in that color? Order the white draping and then bring in free standing “up-lights” in any color that you desire. Your walls will glow throughout the evening! Pipe and Drape is not all that expensive however it all depends on how large the space is that you are trying to cover. To check out the cost, measure the location and call your local rental company for a free price quote. Free standing “up-lights” are also not incredibly expensive but you will need one every 5-10 feet depending on how much you want to saturate the room. While you may put a little more of your budget towards this endeavor, I can say with all honesty that it will completely transform your space! Not much else will be needed to create that WOW with your guests!
If you decide that in the end you are not interested in covering the walls albeit for financial reasons or simply loving the space you are in, then there are plenty of other ways to bring in your wedding colors. The simplest and most cost effective way is with table linens. They come in all different textures and colors! The sky is the limit with this one and let’s face it, every table will need linen anyway. You may have to pay a few dollars more per table, but it will make the biggest splash of color within the room. Simple cotton linens come in hundreds of shades and are the most cost effective choice. Once you start talking about different types of fabric and different textures your cost increases significantly.
The second biggest splash of color – your guest dining chairs! There are so many different types of chairs out there to choose from and most have cushions made to match or accent the table linen. This however can get very costly, either in renting a different chair or going with a chair covered in fabric. If this is something that is not within your budget, stick to a neutral chair so that it will blend in with the room and not stand out and make a statement you are not interested in making!
The third splash of color – your flowers! Let’s say you are on a seriously tight budget and you have no choice but the standard white linens and white garden chairs that come with your reception site or caterer. No problem! First tip – DIY table runners. Grab some fabric, a sewing machine and a couple of girlfriends! You will have them done in no time. Choose the dominant color of the wedding for this runner. Then use your accent wedding colors in the floral centerpieces. This will bring a splash of color to each table. Remember, not every table has to be exactly the same. It is fun for your guests to walk around and see all the different centerpieces or runners that you have put together. Be careful though and don’t go too crazy. Simplicity and elegance is the name of the game. Leave the clutter for the closet!
Happy Planning!
Leslie
ABOUT LESLIE BARBINI
After planning her wedding in 2001, Leslie began to dream about what a
wonderful opportunity it would be to assist others in planning their
weddings. Over the years, she has planned, designed, researched and
assisted with numerous weddings, anniversaries and fund-raising events.
Nine years later, with many testimonials from happy couples and Wedding
Belle designs featured in renowned bridal publications, Leslie's dream
has become a reality. Leslie prides herself not only on being a
designer, coordinator and consultant but on being an advocate for her
clients as well.
Leslie is a distinguished graduate of the Association of Bridal
Consultants development program, the only program dedicated exclusively
to serving wedding professionals and brides worldwide, since 1955.
Having graduated from Binghamton University with a Bachelor of Science
degree in Computer Science and a 16 year career in dance, choreography
and theater, her background is well-rounded and enables Leslie to serve
her clients in every aspect of the planning process.
www.theweddingbelle.com